"The Secrets"
The Secrets Flew In a Whirlwind about me
Banshees Breaking and tossing my things around
I really learned how to cry during this time
Very nearly died for all of them
The Secrets Grew and grew into a black shadow monster
That Growled and Beat its fists Upon the little door
And Panting told me all the things I could never do
And redfaced told me all I would never have
The beatings increased and grew over the months
I learned the happiness in pointless unwanted tears
I learned to softly cry to myself when there wasn't enough
And to bite my tongue when I was provoked by him
I learned that my husband's secrets were my personal hell
That his Secrets made me frightened and alone
Day after day the not-knowing pain increased and only
When he held me in his arms could I see light of day
If we loved one another more we would have killed ourselves
And I was sick from all the pain tears on my little hands
I prayed for a day of reckoning My husband's social life Grew
and grew until it was a great trouncing of dignity
And all manners had gone to the wind a great unending party
when I feared that great storm howling all around outside my home
it was a human storm not a physical one I learned to weep gently
and simply the beauty in refusing to die
refusing to die because it wasn't kind and it wasn't just
because the next day would surely bring day's evaporating light
The secrets of my husband's life became dense and intricate
I knew really nothing about his life anymore
where he came to, where he went, all those things about money
I was too afraid to ask and we fought alot too
The storm beat around my house and I prayed for an answer
heaven knows, I am praying still
Our love is a surreal and eternal thing
And noone can take it away from me
not now not ever they never will
I would rather die in this tomb than be told to recant
These words I speak are the outpouring of my own soul
and in the entanglements of broken love a steely heart lies unsevered
It will never be torn asunder
In Jesus' Name,
Amen